How do I stay safe with guns in the home during divorce??

Dangers Facing Spouses and Children in Divorce

In family law, self-defense issues are far more common than anyone wants to admit.  Divorce and custody cases can be extremely emotional and volatile, and often leading to safety issues.  Unfortunately, everyone has read or heard about cases in the news where one spouse acted violently against the other.  This means that some of our clients have legitimate concerns about their rights related to self-defense, conceal carry, castle doctrine, and the 2nd Amendment. Consider some statistics from the (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, a publican of the National Century for Injury Prevention and Control of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).

HOMICIDE

• Nearly half of all female homicide victims are killed by a current or former partner
• In 2005 alone, 1,181 women were murdered by their intimate partner: that’s an average of nearly three women, every day in America. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Intimate Homicide Victims by Gender).
• A study of intimate partner homicides found that 20% of victims were not the intimate partners themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement responders, or bystanders.
• 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

• On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.
• 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc.
  • 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. This includes a range of behaviors (e.g. slapping, shoving, pushing) and in some cases might not be considered "domestic violence." 
  • 1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner.
  • 1 in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner. Data is unavailable on male victims.
• 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence (e.g. beating, burning, strangling) by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
• 1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.
• On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.
• The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%.
• Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime.
• Women between the ages of 18-24 are the most commonly abused by an intimate partner.
• 19% of domestic violence involves a weapon.
• Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior.
• Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries.

RAPE

• 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States has been raped in their lifetime.
• Almost half of female (46.7%) and male (44.9%) victims of rape in the United States were raped by an acquaintance. Of these, 45.4% of female rape victims and 29% of male rape victims were raped by an intimate partner.

STALKING

• 19.3 million women and 5.1 million men in the United States have been stalked in their lifetime. 60.8% of female stalking victims and 43.5% men reported being stalked by a current or former intimate partner.

Specifically, in divorces, but really in any volatile family situation, safety is always a concern.  If you think you are in danger, then reach out to get the help you need now!  There are numerous options that your attorney can discretely assist you with whether you are a man or woman in danger. 

If there are firearms in the home, then there are two options:

1. Educate and train yourself to protect and defend not only you but your loved ones; or
2. Try to get all of the weapons out of the home including yourself

We are not here to preach politics; we are here to preach safety and to help you on your path, no matter what you choose as the best plan for you and your family.

With access to guns and high emotions, a divorce can trigger a tragedy.  If you believe that you would be safer without any firearms in the home, then you can proceed down that path instead of arming yourself with the proper equipment, education, and training.  Here are precautions one can take if they have a fear that their spouse may do something dangerous with weapons:

• Simply get the guns out of the house.  Have a family member or friend keep them in a secure safe place.  If this is not an option, you could always rent a storage space to store them including from some brick-and-mortar gun stores.
• Explore options of domestic violence restraining orders that can legally create protections and make it a crime for someone to possess firearms
• Look into if professionals will hold onto them for you while the divorce finalizes.  Some police departments will hold firearms for safe keeping until further directive.
• If your spouse is unwilling to give up the firearms, you can file a motion with the Court requesting that the Court order that the guns be removed from the home until the divorce is finalized.
• The key is to be safe rather than sorry.  If you have any hesitations, remove the guns from the home before filing for divorce.  Being served divorce papers can be a very emotional and volatile time.
• Do not carry a firearm with you to meetings, hearings, or discussions regarding your divorce.  Discussing your case can cause emotions to run high and not having the firearm is a guarantee that you will not use it.

Always err on the side of caution.  Divorce and guns can be a toxic and deadly combination.  Making sure no one gets killed during a divorce is an imperative goal.  There have been, unfortunately, far too many deaths from divorce to ignore the statistics and far too much violence from relationships to ignore the statistics.

But whether you choose to educate and train yourself with firearms to help keep yourself safe or to disarm the household, we are here to help.  A key part of that is understanding what your rights are under the 2nd Amendment and understanding your resources to get what you need to stay safe such as knowledge about conceal carry laws, castle doctrine laws and general self-defense and defense-of-third-person laws (such as children).

If you have questions about your rights under the 2nd Amendment, about self-defense, conceal carry, castle doctrine, etc. and are going through a divorce or are a victim of domestic violence: please remember that we are here to assist you in your darkest hour.